The ‘Better You ’

The world is progressively moving forward with improvements and developments in various spheres.  Man has used his wisdom from inventing the wheel, to technology that has gone into taking him into, the moon. But in return, he aggravated the mental capacity by stressing out the brain, Human brain, which resulted Dr A. Abraham a dermatologist-turned Linguistic propagator of the Neuro Linguistic Programming- series of tools for better configuration of human emotion and communication between individuals. NLP is, a science of fragile and professional development of human mind, reducing the stress level to the least minimum. We are dwelling in strain and stress plagued times, in result, we are not 'living' but merely existing, going through routines of emotional strain. Fascinated by the panorama of opportunities available through the practice of NLP, Dr.Abraham gave up his flourishing medical practice in UK, returned to India to research the subject of NLP. By unleashing the subject we enter into a hidden human potential, from which we can derive optimal benefits evolving as an improved, more organized and productive individual in the process. He has evolved a unique methodology based on the principle of NLP which is the central them of the ‘Better You Program’.

So here we progress into Dr.Abraham own words…..

What  is NLP?

To put it simply it is the user’s manual for brain, which is like a One million GB neck top PC. It can process and store information including feelings and use that information to make decisions and solve problems. The one major difference is that it processes and edits this info and therefore the behavior or the outcome results from the edited version of reality and not actuality.This amazing discovery proves that your experience and therefore your behaviour, is the result of movies that you produce in your mind and in changing ‘how you think’, you can change ‘what you think’ you can dramatically transform the results you create in your life.

In human communication, the five senses are like five doors we open to take in information.

What is particularly interesting about human communication is that each of us seems to trust one door more than the others. The door (sense) we prefer affects our choice of words, our breathing, body posture, and the way we move our eyes. We tend to use the visual (seeing), auditory (hearing) or kinaesthetic (feeling) channels more in our communication. The olfactory (smell) and gustatory (taste) are for all practical purpose attached to the kinaesthetic group.

State of Mind

 How do we get into the proper state of mind?  NLP recognizes the importance of physiology in changing and sustaining internal states and therefore getting into the proper mental state is vitally important to be effective. Someone once said, “The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances.”

Through the simple yet profound techniques like the “Circle of excellence”  that make NLP so powerful, you can eliminate unwanted habits, transform negative emotions into positive feelings, and improve the way you see yourself, enhance your self-esteem and become the person you always dreamt of becoming.

NLP enables to achieve rapport almost magically. It is the ability to hold someone’s attention and create a sense of trust by making them feel that you are like them. It means implanting the feeling that you understand each other.

It provides us with a set of models of the world; they are called NLP presuppositions. Some of them are introduced below:

• The meaning of the communication is the response it elicits.
• There are no failures in communication, only outcomes.
• The map is not the territory.
• Everyone lives in their own unique model of the world.
• People always make the best choices available to them, given their unique model of the world and of the situation.
• People have all the resources necessary to make any desired change.
• There is no substitute for clean, open sensory channels.
• Resistance you get is a comment about your inflexibility as communicator; if what you are doing is not working, do something different.
• In interactions among people, the person with most flexibility and variation of behavior can control the outcome of the interaction.
• The positive worth of an individual is held constant, while the value and appropriateness of internal and/or external behavior is questioned.
• These presuppositions are not necessarily true, but are extremely powerful, as they will assist those who follow those models of the world in achieving their outcomes more easily.

How useful and practical is NLP in our lives-NLP has a wide range of practical applications in business (e.g. management, personnel, sales, consulting), training and development, education, law, medicine, health, farming, writing and the arts, sports, parenting, hobbies and personal development - anywhere communicating and excelling are important. The more you are interested in communication, personal effectiveness and development­ the more NLP has to offer. Presentation skills and public speaking are an integral part of corporate life today. NLP self-management techniques, language patterns and goal setting are vital to effective speaking and peak performance.

NLP shows how, in a way that how 'natural talent’ can be copied, adapted and acted upon to produce almost as good a result. Maybe not their, ‘gifted ways’ yet, unique or even better than your own. This process became known as 'modeling', and is the fundamental skill which underpins all of the NLP tools.

"They are expert communicators and have a real
mastery of the dynamics of change."

Some of The Things NLP Will Enable You To Do...

·         "Fix" phobias, unwanted habits, and unsolvable problems (your own and others)

·         Manage your emotional state - turn fear into a friend and blast away negativity or doubt

·         Experience your world in a whole new way - notice things you never saw before, experience things you never felt before, detect clues in people's language you never heard before...

·         Improve your ability to learn new skills (and discover how to "steal" the skills you want from anyone who excels at anything!

·         Use mere words to un-stick problems, put people into a trance and get them to do your bidding

·         Learn how to quickly and easily be better at golf, soccer, painting, dancing, running or anything else you currently suck at!

·         Discover techniques to download other people's "success software" into your own brain

·         Understand how people get motivated and use this to help them learn better, solve their own problems and understand what you're saying

·         Learn to tell stories and use metaphors to distract people's conscious mind while you have an intimate conversation with their unconscious

·         Learn and master the hypnotic techniques of the world's greatest hypnotist - Milton H Erickson (there's a lot more to this stuff than just the language)

·         Be able to get rapport with complete strangers in seconds

·         Solve problems , get agreement and gain a reputation as the person to rely on to sort things out

·         Become a master of language and influence (know the effects of your communication and get what you want)

·         Sort out ANYTHING you want in your life (finally put an end to over-eating, procrastination, anger, road rage - or anything else that might be bugging you!)

·         Find more people wanting to agree with (almost) every suggestion you make

·         Learn some cool tricks to impress your kids, friends or mates down the pub (you'll even learn how to get yourself drunk without touching a drop!)

·         Become more charismatic, cool and confident

·         Build a solid relationship with your self - raise your self-esteem, self-worth and accept yourself as perfect in every way

·         Learn the secrets of instant happiness (or any other emotion or feeling you want more of)

This program comes with a statutory warning… BEWARE, YOU MAY IMPROVE YOURSELF.

My dream is to make NLP a part of the curriculum in all educational, medical and corporate trainings. I really believe that there is far too much technical training given at all levels without enabling people to be the best themselves.Teaching should be re-labeled as enabling or empowering. This is a fantastic methodology to make counseling more user-friendly as it does not see problems but challenges and enables people to find their own resources.

To me NLP is the DIFFERNCE that MAKES THE DIFFERENCE to anyone.

Dr.Abraham is invited in Universities ,Schools and  Corporate offices to  conduct workshop on stress management & NLP coaching . His Mind Masters  is a centre for research and development of behavior technology engaged in the process of evolving better ways of human communication and wholesome behavioral development in individuals and groups. Dr.says" We have developed a set of training program's addressing the needs of different segments of human society: family, professionals, corporate, educational establishments and sports institutions. MindMasters have been conducting training programs in several business organizations, academic institutions and social groups since 1997.The programs are structured in a modular format and can easily be integrated into a corporate or academic situation. Hundreds of individuals have benefitted by the MindMasters Program's.( http://www.mindmasters.org/)

March Fever

Each child is born with beautiful senses. Watch a child, when  they look at something it  is completely absorbed. When a child is playing with toys, it is totally engrossed . A child running after a butterfly in the garden, so fascinated; with such tremendous energy and without any effort does this all. See a child collecting seashells on the beach as if collecting diamonds. Everything is precious to a child in their  world, everything is clear and the senses are alive.

Day 1

In this country, where sand and mountains are landmarks , is he/she enjoying being a child? I hope so! Waking up early at about 5.30 am, to get dressed and run to a school by school bus or parent’s car, to be dropped at the dawn of day light is nothing but a hectic task. A breakfast can be a piece of toast pushed into kids mouth or bowl of cereals half left untouched, in hurry burry. In school they are happy with being around friends, their routine study, libraries’, art class and sports activities. Afternoon, its again mad rush back home, in scorching heat of  40 to  45 degree, where the  lunch ,waiting to be heated . A sandwich, self made, mostly  with peanut butter or handy veggies that does not  need much cutting and cooking, like a tomato, cabbage, lettuce or cucumber, with a slice of salami or  ready to  be heated rice and  curry. Some parents have no other option but have a packed lunch also to be dropped while they pick and drop their  kid home. Desperation/ Shortcoming of being a working parent....alas!! Heated food, mostly eaten in front of the TV or with the company of play station. Evenings are exclusively for the forced routine of ‘cleaning the room’ (or else the threat of “no play station CD on weekend” looming over) and home works. The afternoons have another hazard or rather forced task of ‘Tuitions’. Travel to tuitions can be a walk/cycle ride/pick up drop/ and by evening   you feel dead  in  'mind and body '.Tuition classes are for climbing the mark ladder and is like competition by itself. Back home by evenings, for bath and a changing  clothes, which was worn  since 5.30 am. A quick brush through the class work and homework if any, Getting ready for the next day school at night again.   Timetable, next day uniform and checking on nails and hair which gets inspected unexpectedly and sometimes on preplanned days. Finally  dinner table, where  all  the  family meet up to ‘share’ the news , scoops and  scandals of each other’s daily  routine. By 10 pm, in bed with a simple ‘thanks to the almighty’, again due to ‘a small shout or scream’ by parents from the other room. Day 1 ends.

The Teachers

 Students and teachers should have a very approachable relationship .Many schools have adopted positive methods to have more interactions towards kids, on a friendly ‘one- to- one’ basis. The conversations earlier years  were mostly one sided. A teacher taking up the role of a ‘mentor’ for a set of 15 students  and he/she playing the role of a friend, guide and counselor  is a much welcomed rule as far as kids are concerned. The month of March comes after much long waiting; the most decisive month, for parents and kids. The final year exams and the promotions to the next class always fall in March for Oman Indian schools. The  percentage of marks have many optional  advantages of adding  marks to your  progress card, with best behaviors , dress code, interactions. That rule plays  an additional interest to have a good behavior, instead of the   ‘old school of  thoughts  with bamboos sticks and rulers” for discipline.

The Parents

What kind of role does parent play in moulding the child to face the tests and exams during school years? Dr. Abraham, a Neuro-Linguist Program trainer, from Trivandrum, Kerala, who conducts stress buster sessions for students as well as teachers in schools and colleges , India and abroad thinks " mothers need to take it easy and not pressurize the kids. Make life as happy as possible and let them believe in themselves and help the child to do the best  that they can” .This theory works and helps the kids more in a practical sense. When we think from the parents  perspective, tension about kids and their studies,  -is 100 % right. But parents must be “the coolest ones”, in the current age and trends; even during the exam they should never evade living their life. Acting and behaving normal , in fact helps the kids to relax. generally people stop watching TV and going out, become anti social for that period of Exams’. The climate  at home, is as though they are fighting an epidemic. When the kids feel that the parents are confident in them and about their ability to get good grades/marks, they develop a constructive energy and confidence level improves a great deal.

The Kids

Kids now-a-days are so much more aware of the pros and cons and more exposed to the consequence of their actions, like ‘they know how much they need work to reach their goals . But in Indian system, we put a lot of weight on academic achievements. it seems to be more  in the Gulf In fact we tend to over protect kids here; everything is taken care for the kids from a very small age. In reality some parents live their life through their kids. Each and every minute  is  spent catering to kids needs, taking them out for endless number of tuitions. So exam time for kids is like their own exams. It can even lead to a competitive experience between parents. Why the parents don’t give the children the liberty to choose their career interests? Why is it being decided for them? There are many why’s for which we can find simple answers, by just introspection. These are some of the expressions that come out of child’s own conversations’ “come on ma, chill! Will you!! , My God, dude (father) you are awesome, hey bro (to dad not brother)…….”

Examples

Think of a story, of an uneducated mother in a remote village who wants her kids to get good education. Think about the sufferings she goes through, not able to help the child to study , find previous years  question papers, make  comparison study of your  friends’ kids and  the first rank  holders. Even those kids study and grow up to reputable heights in life. Hence, with all these advantages and facilities, we take undue stress for the kid’s studies.

Beena Poduval from Qatar is working as a senior management person in a US based international school. She is basically involved in setting up new schools. She says “US schools don't have final exams. They have a continuous assessment. Well, we stress a lot on interactive education; this curriculum doesn't follow ‘shoot in the middle’ approach. Instead we really emphasize on differentiated learning methods in the class room, catering to each student’s individual needs”. Beena further expands “as a management committee, we ensure that maximum capacity of a classroom is around 20. Teachers are provided with lots of resource materials .It is important that children are assessed according to their ability to learn. Some of the students are more of a visual learner, some are kinesthic learners. Even the text books are designed in order to cater to these two levels on the same topic. The school ensures that the student’s assessments are based on their individual capacity and study pattern.

Susan Thomas, a mother from US comments: "yes, they do go through some stress in studies in schools here too, but not as much as I have seen in India! Elementary and middle schools are really easy years for children. The serious study starts in high school level. Now, trying to get into colleges is a different game altogether". There is stress and tension in all types of schools but not like in India. In elementary and middle schools there are no final exams, mostly, so that is a big relief. Once you start high school then comes the stress. Taking advance placement classes, etc, you have to be an all rounder to get into a good college; means you have to do sports and some kind of arts, which is again an added advantage while you are studying. The level of stress for kids outside the Indian curriculum study has many added advantages like these.

The Options
Later on in life, the same child will look at reality as if hidden behind a darkened glass. Much smoke and dust have gathered on the glass. Because of this, everything looks dull and dead. You hear a song, but there is no appeal in it because your ears are dull. You will not be able to appreciate it, because your intelligence is dull.

The Indian system of education has come out with many alternative ideas and implemented a few already into the current system. The main goal is to bring our students to an international standard of educations which is more or career oriented. Top Schools of India are best known for their world class infrastructure and educational facilities. The CBSE from the 2010-2011 academic year, decided to introduce an International Curriculum for schools .The pilot project will be introduced in classes 1 and 9. The new system will help prepare young generation for changes taking place in society. The new system would considerably reduce anxiety and stress in children, since competition would give way to cooperation. It will also help students work together as a team rather than compete with each other. However, the parents have a great role to play in making the system a success. “Most of the schools request all parents to give the new system a chance to succeed. In addition, the parents were invited for a thorough presentation of the new CBSE system, with the teachers, to face the facts and direct discussions”.  The parents were assured that “this is for the overall development of your child. This will not only promote your child’s academic development but also their total personality to compete with international standards of career interviews and opportunities,”

Conclusion

"Millions of Indians have come in Gulf and many have improved their living conditions and knowledge, unquestionably. we have to be conscious that we are part of this country. The country's bliss fabricate our happiness and its troubles are our problems too. So disadvantages can be there, but we need to improvise them within our limited limitations. We should conclude by saying “Every leaf of a tree, under which we seek a shelter, is sacred to us”.

Imperative Caress

Unexpected and unplanned words spoken,

By a friend, yet she has always been there.

Much as I expected her to sympathies,

The action went a step ahead unpredicted.

Conversations leads to one another,

And crucial as it turned out to be,

The directions very clear and definite,

Purpose of a clear cut meaningful heart .

Unforeseen realms of pain washed away,

With the proper guidelines and approach,

The lucid direction were given,

Elected, taken with much hope and life.

The very confidence that’s been given,

True purpose of  life  laid in a platter,

The unknown fears washed away in jiffy

The mindset reinstated unpredicted.

Whom do I thank for unforeseen turn of life?

None but a friend, everlasting and faithful,

She handed out the gift of life to me,

Unrewarded, total meaning reinstated.

How I would I react is unpredicted!

Yet, gratitude engulfed the heart relentlessly,

Words was not enough to express significance,

Bowed myself to her feet a thousand times.